“Jesus retracts fish miracle – replaces it with vegan sausage roll miracle”

News from the Natural World: Jesus Christ has announced that he will be retracting his famous fish feeding miracle and replacing it with a 'vegan sausage roll miracle' instead.
Jesus vegan sausage roll
Jesus explaining that it was in fact “Vegan Sausage Rolls” not fish

Jesus has expanded upon this and stated that he actually invented Veganism. His vegan sausage roll came way before Greggs got involved. When asked why he had been silent on this for over 2,000 years he simply stated: “The Lord works in mysterious ways”. Critics have argued that this is the same excuse that religion always uses to justify hypocrisy. They argue that Jesus was never a Vegan. There was “no way it could have been Vegan Sausage Rolls” rather than fish. They say it is all part of Jesus’s new campaign to appear more environmentally conscious. Many say he is covering up after destroying his Dad’s planet.

As the debate rages Jesus has reactivated his twitter account with a new look green robe. Find out more – here

Jesus vegan sausage roll
“The Devil works in mysterious ways”

Read more like this – here

Find out who the Platypus is – here

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