“Cows agree to fart less in bid to halt methane emissions”

News from the Natural World: “Cows agree to fart less in bid to halt methane emissions”
News from the Natural World: Cows have officially agreed to fart less to halt methane emissions. The COMC (Council of Moo Cows) recently held its annual conference in Rotterdam, Holland. Whilst the award for greatest cowpat and most farmers chased caused quite a stir. The greatest uproar of the night was reserved for a controversial new motion that moved to stop cows methane farts. With well over 1,000 species of cattle gathered at the annual conference, the event is the flagship gathering for domestic cattle. Bill Bison, a leading Cow Scientist, revealed that methane emissions from cattle flatulence had a hugely negative impact on the planet. Sterling Sirloin of the EDF stated that “Methane pollution causes one quarter of the global warming that we’re experiencing right now”. Whilst carbon dioxide may be the most prevalent greenhouse gas methane is much more potent. Over a 20-year period, it traps 84 times more heat.
Cows methane fart
Cow pictured after eating a spicy Vindamoo curry
There are over 1.5 billion cows on the planet not to mention other similar species. On average, a single cow releases between 70 and 120 kg of Methane per year. The average cows fart contained 25mg of methane. The time for action was of course clear. 

Cows fart contains too much methane

The COMC had heard a rumor that the human race was definitely and absolutely doing everything it possibly could to decrease harmful CO2 emissions. In light of this, it was only fair that cows all over the world did their bit. Some other species accused them of just ‘following the herd’ but the COMC brushed this aside as libellous slander. Following this announcement, it can only be hoped that further good news comes at next weeks annual Skunk Summit 2020.

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