News from the Natural World: The Scottish Government has decided to overturn the ban on Haggis Hunting. They have given the green light for hunters to slaughter the iconic animal.
The Haggis is the unofficial national animal of Scotland. For years and years, this enigmatic ‘wee beastie’ was shrouded in mystery. It was a myth to frighten those with weak stomachs. Others said the four-legged beast was a cross between a hedgehog and a pig. It uses its large trunk for snorkeling in peat bogs as well as foraging for mushrooms.
However, there had been no confirmed sightings of the Haggis for centuries. That is until recently. Camera traps in a remote corner of the Cairngorms National Park captured what appeared to be a wild Haggis. The camera traps were originally been set up to capture images of the critically endangered Scottish Wildcat. A local conservation group reviewed the footage. They discovered the world’s first images of wild Haggis.
Upon the discovery, the Scottish Government sent in a number of conservation groups to run a comprehensive study of the Haggis. After a period of observation, they recorded a self-sustaining population of 112 Haggis. The discovery prompted wild jubilation across Scotland. Local hunting groups could barely contain their excitement.
Haggis found in the wild
After an aggressive lobbying campaign by the hunting group “Haggis Bashers R’Us” local government officials approved the issuance of permits to trap the haggis for commercial hunting. But some environmental groups were also angry with the decision. They argued that the highlands of Scotland served a more important purpose. The Highlands are not just a hunting ground for the rich. Haggis’s survival was a testament to the rich biodiversity of the ecosystem itself. We should be using the discovery to re-wild the Cairngorms and re-introduce lost species of flora and fauna.
But hunting groups reminded the conservationists that “hunting grounds for the rich and bloodthirsty” was EXACTLY what the Scottish Highlands were for. They confusedly asked the environmentalists;
“Hadn’t they heard of Grouse shooting!?”
Haggis hunting resumes
Didn’t they know how much money private landowners made from hunting? But the conservationists attempted to draw comparisons with the critically endangered Scottish Wildcat. There is a population of less than 150 Scottish Wildcats left. They then argued that the preservation of the highlands as a Grouse hunting desert for the rich had resulted in the destruction of the forest habitat required by the Wildcat. This was also the same habitat needed for the Haggis to survive.
Ultimately the Government ignored the pleas of conservationists and passed the legislation legalising the hunting of the endangered Wild Haggis.
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