News from the Natural World: In scenes reminiscent of a zombie apocalypse, militant vegans in the UK have started eating humans instead of vegetables.
The hard right militant vegan group, “Human Meat Isn’t Murder”, has started a growing human flesh consumption movement. So far they have convinced over 100,000 vegans in the UK to join. The group argues for the abandonment of all traditional vegan foods including nuts, vegetables, pulses, fruits, and carbs. Instead, they advocate for replacing these food groups with human flesh.
They argue that the production of all food groups, even those normally within a vegan diet, have a hugely harmful impact on the natural world. The carbon footprint, water usage, and transportation of this food can no longer be considered ethical. They are advocating a “eat on sight” diet. This consists solely of human flesh. They are recommending that their followers target those humans with larger carbon footprints. This includes employees of Oil & Gas firms, CEO’s of multinationals and big game hunters.
Vegans start eating humans instead of vegetables
The argument that eating humans is the only truly ethical diet out there is actually gaining significant traction in the UK as many vegans realise that being traditionally vegan is no longer enough. The true vegan has to actively seek to combat the destruction of the natural world and harm caused to plants, fruits and vegetables. Only by consuming a human can they truly balance the books.
During an undercover interview with Lannibal Hector, the founder of “Human Meat Isn’t Murder” a reporter from the BBC known only as “Janet” stated that during her questions he was actively salivating and “eyeing up” her flesh, he then launched himself at her arm and started nibbling on her elbow, when she confronted him he turned to her and shouted;
“Shut up you beef guzzling bast**d”
then continued his snack. The clip has since gone viral and the militant vegan group has adopted a new slogan – “Eat Janet, Save the Planet”. Truly dark times indeed.
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