Agony Earth

"Mother Earth creates giant condom to slow population growth"

News from the Natural World: Mother Earth has created a giant condom to slow population growth.

News from the Natural World: Mother Earth has created a giant condom to slow the growth of the human population.

Mother Earth has once and for all decided to create a giant condom to slow down humans expansion on Planet Earth. She had originally hoped that either population growth of humans would stabilise or that humans would self regulate. But she has watched on as humanity has grown at an unsustainable level and the 6th extinction of all life on earth accelerates. She was incredibly sad to have lost such fascinating species as the Great Auk, Tasmanian Tiger, Giant Moa and Dodo.

slow human population growth
Early prototype of the giant condom

Mother Earth watched as humanity tried its best too curb the effects of climate change and stop the current 6th extinction. She heard a lot of talk of Veganism, cutting carbon emissions and protecting endangered species. But she couldn’t hear anyone talking about the real problem, population growth. She scoured the media and environmental science but couldn’t find any serious evidence of humans discussing the seriousness of rampant population growth. So she decided to step in and act.

Mother Earth creates giant condom to slow population growth

She decided to great a monumental condom to put the entire human population in. She admitted that the condom took a huge amount of work and there were many failed attempts. Eventually she found the right solution and draped the huge condom of the planet. She said she was left no choice as humanity continued to shag itself into oblivion.

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