"Humans agree that nature needs to be 'tidied up a bit"

News from the Natural World: Humans have unanimously agreed that nature has got way out of control and needs to be tidied up once and for all.

News from the Natural World: Humans have agreed that nature needs to be tidied up once and for all.

The human race has officially declared the new ruling at the UN Summit on Climate Change on April 25th. The motion was brought forward by the UK, the great nation of gardeners. In addition, it was seconded by Japan & Singapore, also avid gardening nations. The motion said that nature was unruly and also had no order or structure. Finally, nature clearly hadn’t ever heard of a straight line let alone a right angle. The report used examples of a section of primary rainforest in Costa Rica which displayed haphazard design and unruly nature.

“Mother Nature couldn’t even draw a right angle if she was slapped in the face with a ruler!”

Alan Titmarshall – Proponent of the motion

Humans nature
Not a straight line in sight

Humans agree nature needs to be tidied up

However, there were some vociferous critics. They argued that random design was a crucial part of the complex web of bio-diversity on earth. This chaos was manifest within all functional elements of the natural world. They used the example of the primary rainforest in Costa Rica. The critics argued that there were intentionally no straight lines or right angles. The rainforests are divided into four layers. The 1st is called the emergent layer, the 2nd the canopy, 3rd the understorey, and finally the forest floor. Each layer received a different amount of sunlight and rainfall. So different types of animals and plants were could thrive in each layer.

Humans nature
Not even a single right angle

The committee dismissed this as complete nonsense. They laughed off the ridiculous idea. How could anyone say that nature wasn’t meant to be organized? Right angles, straight lines, neat edges, as well as mono-cultures, are perfect! Ultimately, if mother nature couldn’t get her act together then humans would have to step in. The motion has now passed into International Law. The human race has finally declared that nature will, once and for all, be tidied up.


Humans nature
Nature as it should be, lovely straight human lines

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