"Greggs releases new Vegan Albatross Plastic Pack Lunch"

News from the Natural World: Popular UK pastry chain Greggs has released a new item for its revamped menu, the 'Vegan Albatross Pack Lunch'.
News from the Natural World: Popular UK pastry chain Greggs has released a new item for its revamped menu, the ‘Vegan Albatross Plastic Pack Lunch’. Greggs recently launched its incredibly popular Vegan Sausage Roll, which has sold more than 2.4 million units. Since the company launched its vegan-friendly snack in January 2019 it has added around £700m to its market value. Following this successful launch, they had decided to update their Vegan range. They scanned the animal kingdom and studied a wide range of animals to see what they were eating. They looked at what items made up the majority of their diet and whether it work for humans. In the end, after substantive research, they settled on the Wandering Albatross. It was also the perfect example of a new trend emerging in the animal kingdom.
Albatross Plastic
Inspiration for the new “Vegan Albatross Pack Lunch”
“We noticed that the majority of animals are now consuming large amounts of plastic. The Albatross more so than any other animal. Not only is plastic easy to produce, cheap and great for profit, it is also vegan friendly. Win-Win!” Spokesperson for Greggs

New Albatross Plastic Pack Lunch

Many birds accidentally eat plastic and other marine debris floating in the ocean, mistaking it for food. With over 51 trillion pieces of plastic in the ocean, it’s no wonder Albatrosses are turning to plastic. Other animals are joining in too. More than 50% Turtles eat plastic and 54% of whales and dolphins. Also 56% of all seabirds are all known to eat plastic. But the reason Greggs used the Albatross was that over 98% of them were found to have eaten plastic. This inspiration from the animal kingdom caused Greggs to combine pieces of ocean plastic in a delicious pastry bake as part of a new food revolution.
Albatross Plastic
Greggs researching which plastic will be best for the new roll.
However, many critics have argued that ingesting plastic is incredibly harmful. It causes internal bleeding, stomach ulcers and gradually poisons the host until they death. They argue that marine animals and the Albatrosses consumption of plastic has led to a rapid decline in their population. Greggs has carried on perturbed and knocked back criticism. “Why would all of these Albatross be eating so much plastic if it wasn’t good for them!?”

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