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"”Singapore to “tidy up” last remaining patch of rainforest”"

News from the Natural World: Singapore had decided to "tidy up" its last remaining patch of rainforest.

News from the Natural World: Singapore had decided to “tidy up” its last remaining patch of rainforest.

The Southeast Asian nation of Singapore has officially decided that it will “tidy up” its last remaining patch of rainforest. The country has been doing a brilliant job of chopping down and destroying all of the primary rainforest in the country. They had argued that Mother Nature has left pristine primary rainforest all over the country. This rainforest provided a habitat for large numbers of birds and animals including Tigers. Thankfully Singapore managed to kill all of its tigers and has been cutting down the rainforest ever since.

“Well we’ve pretty much got every last patch, around 95%. It will really feel like a huge achievement once it’s all been tidied up.”

The rainforest was very annoying as it got in the way of roads, tower blocks and other buildings. It was never organised in neat strait lines and not a single patch of the rainforest had any right angles anymore. This rainforest had proved a huge problem for Singapore as it tried to become one of the wealthiest countries on the planet. So it set about tidying up the rainforest in 1965 once the country was independent.

Singapore tidying up last patch of rainforest.
Singapore tidying up the last patch of rainforest.

Singapore to tidy up last patch of rainforest.

The Prime Minister argued that no one really noticed what they were doing because their personal standard of living had risen. Who needs a primary rainforest when you have a slightly nicer luxury condo or swimming pool. They argued that most Singaporeans and Expats had no idea that Singapore used to ALL be primary rainforest. “Chuck a few trees on rooftops and build some mono-culture gardens and you really confuse everyone.” This strategy of deception proved highly successful and Singapore was able to tidy up the majority of the rainforest.

The last patch of rainforest to be tidied up is at the Bukit Timah nature reserve. This area provides a vital habitat for many species but building more houses and roads is far more important. Once this last bit of rainforest has been tidied up Singapore will be the first country to succeed in tidying up all nature. But the Prime Minister said that they wont stop there.

“We’ve got plans for more gift shops and visitor centres. If you’ve not excited through a gift shop then we’ve not done our job.”

This huge result for Singapore can only help the country to achieve even greater things. Once Singapore has tidied up its last remaining patch of rainforest they have declared they’ll start tidying up the few remaining coral reefs.

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