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“The Great Pacific Garbage Patch renamed Great Pacific Turtle Patch”"

News from the Natural World: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is replaced with the Great Pacific Turtle Patch.

News from the Natural World: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is replaced with the Great Pacific Turtle Patch.

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is a huge patch of ocean plastic, trash and waste. It is created by the merging of ocean currents and the wastefulness of humans. In fact it is so large that the entire state of Texas could fit into it. The patch is made up of millions of pieces of rubbish, micro-plastic and all the things humans throw away. It is a perfect mirror to humans complete idiocy and destruction of the natural world. A huge and obvious metaphorical microcosm of the fast paced throwaway consumerism of modern humanity.

Because it remained undiscovered for so long it was able to grow and grow. Every year more and more trash and garbage would gather. Scientists set out too research and analyse this human monstrosity. They tracked its growth rate every year so they could try and understand it. However what they found recently initially shocked the world.

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch
The Great Pacific Garbage Patch © Naomi Stones

They found thousands and thousands of turtles all gathered in the garbage patch. Everywhere they looked there were turtles. Green Turtles, Leatherback Turtles, Hawksbill Turtles. You name a turtle, it was there. The scientists looked on in shock. They immediately radioed their research base and told them the news. Once the world media had caught on the news just spiralled. People wanted to change the name of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch;

“We told you rubbish and plastic were good for the ocean!”

Great Pacific Garbage Patch renamed Great Pacific Turtle Patch.

The news caught on like wildfire and the patch was officially renamed “The Great Pacific Turtle Patch”. However there had been an issue. Once the scientists had radioed their research base to tell them the good news they decided to take a closer look. They realised they had made a huge mistake. Every single turtle was dead or dying. They were all choking on the ocean plastic, swallowing bits of rubbish and dying in a mangled heap. The scientists were horrified and immediately tried to radio their base. However the radio signal was down and they couldn’t get through.

Turtle trapped at the Great Pacific Garbage Patch
Turtle trapped at the Great Pacific Garbage Patch © Gary Bell

“Turtles eat plastic bags thinking they are jellyfish. It was horrific there were thousands of them all dying in a great mass.”

Once they had returned the scientists immediately tried to correct their mistake. They told all the media outlets that all the turtles were in fact dead. The Garbage Patch was destroying them all and acting as a giant turtle graveyard. However the media was having none of it and branded the new report as FAKE NEWS. They called the scientists “all doom and gloom” and said “the world needs some good news”. The scientists argued that the truth was more important than fragile human sentiments but it was to no avail.

The Platypus is the only journalist to have since reported the truth. Because of this the Great Pacific Garbage Patch has been renamed the Great Pacific Turtle Patch.

Read more about ocean plastic at SEE Turtleshere

Turtle trapped at the Great Pacific Garbage Patch
Turtle trapped at the Great Pacific Garbage Patch © David Walsh

Read more stories like this – here

Find out who the Platypus is – here

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