News from the Natural World: The UN has declared that the mouth of a Leatherback Turtle is officially the most terrifying thing ever.
The UN held a recent conference to decide what was the most terrifying thing on Planet Earth. Every country helped to come up with the initial list. They decided on 5 potential options;
- The mouth of a Leatherback Turtle
- The centre of a Blackhole
- The 6th Extinction of all life on Planet Earth
- Donald Trumps science report from high school
- The scale of the next epidemic after Covid-19
In a historic first for the UN all 201 countries have voted for the same option. Number 1 – The mouth of a Leatherback Turtle. Following the decision, a delegate from Russia stood up and spoke to the gathered nations. “The turtles teeth resemble dozens of stalactites and utterly horrifying”. These line the turtle’s mouth and act as teeth. They stretch all the way down to its gut. Furthermore, it is these teeth which have caused more horror and terror than any other thing on the planet. Finally, it was declared that not a single one of the others even came close!
Leatherback Turtle mouth most terrifying thing ever!
Undoubtedly, all of the countries were in complete agreement that the Leatherback Turtles mouth was absolutely terrifying. Some delegates even vomited as the image was shown. Many of the voters were perplexed. Why did it have such a terrifying mouth? Also, if it only ate jellyfish what did it need all those teeth for? These questions were answered swiftly as the only logical explanation was that it used them to devour all joy and happiness from the world.
It looks like the Sarlacc pit from Star Wars!
One dissenter argued that the voters didn’t have their priorities right. The others on the list were far more terrifying, if not all of them then at least Donald Trumps science report from high school! They also interviewed a Leatherback Turtle who said;
“Have you ever tried to eat a plastic bag!? It’s bloody difficult. We need all those teeth to eat all the shit you lot throw into the ocean.”
The UN was having none of it as it rejected all these claims. Without a doubt, they voted swiftly and announced the decision. The mouth of the Leatherback Turtle has officially been declared the most terrifying thing ever.
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