Politics

"Boris Johnson starts eating Hedgehogs for Sunday Roast"

News from the Natural World: Boris Johnson has started eating hedgehogs for his Sunday Roast.

With their numbers rapidly on the decline it is feared that this news will only exacerbate the problem. But Boris is moving forward regardless. He said that because we have lost 35 million of them in a century its hardly like anyone is going to notice if I eat a few.

“Wow, wow. Hang on a minute. You’re positively disgusted if I eat one for my Sunday Roasty but you weren’t bothered when we lost 35 million of them over the last century!? Codswallop and hypocrisy I say!”

By consuming the most vulnerable animal in the UK I grow ever stronger. Just as Darth Vader feasts on hatred and anger I feast on weakness and vulnerability. It’s a strategy I’ve been using in politics for years.

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Boris Johnson eating
Boris Johnson even recommend hedgehog flavoured ice cream

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