“Cockroaches go on strike over colossal growth in human food waste”

News from the Natural World: Cockroaches across the world have been forced to go on strike against the colossal growth in human food waste.

The oft maligned cockroach plays an incredibly important role in the web of life on earth. The nuclear bomb surviving critters are the disposal men and women of the animal kingdom. They aren’t fussy eaters at all as they will eat pretty much anything humans throw away. You name it, they’ll eat it, fruit, glue, faeces the whole damn lot. For 320 million years they have consumed food waste and cleared up the animal kingdoms garbage. Everything was going perfectly well and cockroach numbers were exploding across the globe. Wages were rising and the living standard of cockroaches all over the world was improving. However, all that ended in the last 30 years as the human population spiralled out of control.

human food waste
Human food waste too much for cockroaches to handle

Cockroaches have had enough

The cockroaches were forced into action by the rising tide of human waste as the human population rose to over 7 billion. One-third of food produced for human consumption is lost or wasted globally, which amounts to about 1.3 billion tonnes per year. 1.3 billion tons! In addition land, water, energy, soil, seeds and other inputs used in its production increase green gas emissions in vain. The normal annual value of global food wasted by humans is $1.3 trillion. In fact an area larger than China is used to grow food that is never eaten. On top of that 25% of the worlds fresh water is used to grow food that is never consumed. Finally, if food waste were a country it would be the 3rd largest emitter of greenhouses gases in the world after USA and China.

Cockroach strike at growth of human food waste

Due this is unstoppable rise in human food waste the cockroaches were forced to go on strike. They had exhausted all other possibilities, they had petitioned the humans to consume less food. Some had even resorted to campaigning for humans to reduce their waste, to recycle food groups and compost for gardens. But it was to no avail. Despite being able to survive with their head chopped off for seven days. Despite the ability to withstand a nuclear holocaust. In the end there was nothing they could do to fight the endless rise of human waste.

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