News from the Natural World: Rural people have told City Slickers they’ve known the benefits of nature for years!
Yesterday morning rural people all over the world gathered together to formally announce the news. They said that they had waited for far too long to intervene. Many watched on as City Slickers continued to wax lyrical about the benefits of nature and spending time outdoors. Rural communities were bombarded with article after article of some City Twit blurting on about the morning they discovered a plant in the park and how staring at a flower cured them of cancer. Post after post, tweet after tweet it was endless. These people were acting like they were the first people to discover that nature was good for you.
Rural people have always known benefits of nature
However these people ignored the obviousness of their choice to live in a city. Whilst millions of others lived amongst nature and the outdoors for centuries in rural areas. These rural communities had quietly been walking in the forests, swimming in the lakes and running in the mountains. These activities were the reason they lived in the countryside. They knew that the big cities had more restaurants, bars, galleries, exhibitions and night life. But, they loved the peace and quiet of the countryside as well as easy access to nature. They’d never sought recognition or affirmation of this choice so generally kept themselves to themselves. But the recent explosion of online news and social media had changed everything.
One fell runner from Cumbria said that they’d been trying to get articles in the Guardian, for years. Alan had been a fell runner all his life. His family had a long tradition of running in the Cumbria mountains. He was a fell runner through and through. Alan knew the huge mental and physical benefits of running through the hills. He felt a great kinship with the natural world. But no one at the Guardian had listened to him for years. They’d ignored his messages about the healing effects of nature. In addition they ignored his email about how running in the hills had helped him cope with the death of his father. Finally, Alan awoke to find a Guardian article about “Off Road Natural Sky Running”, he couldn’t believe it!
“Off Road Natural Sky Running”
It was some journalist from Islington called Polly Frinkly-Bings who’d “discovered” the new sport of “Off Road Natural Sky Running”. She had been up to Cumbria to run across a fell and was banging on about how it had healed all of her problems and she felt at one with life itself. She was saying had horrible it was that “we’d all forgotten about the benefits of nature and by taking part in “Off Road Natural Sky Running” you could get back to the natural world”. Alan was livid. That self righteous w**ker! Cumbria had been full of fell runners for centuries and one bloody journalist from London comes up and suddenly its all over the news!
“Hiking with Hummus”
In the end, Alan wasn’t the only one as many other trends began to emerge. They were all started by City Slickers who were suddenly discovering that nature was good for them. These included “Forest Bathing”, “Wild Feral Natural Foraging” as well as Alan’s personal favourite “Hiking with Hummus”. If only these people had spent more time with rural people they would know that these things had names like walking, hiking, swimming and gardening. What a bunch of pillocks thought Alan.
In the end Rural people all over the world have come together to finally tell City Slickers that they’ve known all about the benefits of nature for years.
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