News from the Natural World: Animals have banned humans from saying “we live in unprecedented times”.
Every single species of animal has signed a petition calling for a complete ban on humans using the phrase “we live in unprecedented times”. The human race has been suffering under the COVID-19 global pandemic and subsequent lockdown. It is truly a strange and bizarre time for humanity. They have tried to find meaning amidst such a senseless viral attack. The human species has turned to one phrase to comfort themselves in their time of need. That phrase has been heard millions of times across the radio, tv, news, podcasts and in conversations all across the world.
“We live in unprecedented times”
Animals all over the world began to hear humans using the phrase over and over again. As the streets emptied and animals returned to claim cities they saw the phrase on tv and heard it being blasted out on speakers. “We Live in Unprecedented Times”. The animals just couldn’t escape the constant barrage of this statement, repeated ad infinitum. Whilst the animals understood that the humans were experiencing a devastating tragedy, they couldn’t help feeling cheated!
Animals ban humans
But why did the animals feel so cheated by the human use of the phrase “we live in unprecedented times”? The animals were so angry because they felt that all life on earth had been living in unprecedented times for centuries. Life on earth had seen a drastic decline as species were going extinct at an alarming rate. The ice caps were melting, holes had been exposed in the ozone layer and waste was polluting the oceans. All of this amounted to a colossal 6th Extinction of all life on earth. The animals felt that the Coronavirus Pandemic was just another step during a long period of thousands of years of “unprecedented times”.
The animals were finally angered because this was all caused by one species. The very species now claiming that 2020 was truly the year of “unprecedented times”. That species was the humans. But for all other life on earth they had been living in “unprecedented times” long before Coronavirus came along. In fact ever since humans had shown up things had started going downhill.
In conclusion, animals have banned humans from saying “we live in unprecedented times”.
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