News from the Natural Word: Manatees have started attacking swimmers in Florida.
Manatees all across Florida have started launching vicious attacks against swimmers. The rise in attacks started last week as shocking reports started circling online. Witnesses reported seeing Manatees randomly charging at human swimmers in the water. The Manatees would appear suddenly as if out of nowhere, rapidly accelerate and smash into the swimmer. Because of the speed they were travelling they would crash right over the top of them and pummel the swimmer underwater. Leaving them with deep flipper gouges in their backs. They would then swim off into the distance without saying a word.
They went viral. This caused outrage across human society. Why were the Manatees all of sudden just charging into them and attacking them? Why didn’t they look where they were going or slow down? In a worldwide exclusive The Platypus managed to secure an interview with the head of the Manatee community (also being the only journalist who can speak animal makes things easier).
Manatees are attacking humans in Florida
Marvin the Manatee said that they had picked up the activity from humans. They had been watching humans closely and had studied their behaviour. All of them thought that the humans would enjoy it. After all the humans had been doing the same thing to them every day for years. Also, they had decided to copy and imitate the humans who drove their boats over Manatees and gouged out their backs with their propellors.
Because Manatees have no natural predators these docile sea cows float peacefully in waterways. Fast moving speedboats present a huge danger to them and idiotic and reckless drivers plough into them. In 2019 around 130 Manatees were killed by boats last year alone. Others are left with hideous injuries, giant scars and sometimes even have their flippers torn off. Spookey, a 7-foot long female manatee, was rescued in Key Largo last year after suffering severe tail injuries after being sliced by a boat propeller.
Marvin the Manatee said that this had been happening to his species all over Florida, more and more humans were smashing into them with their boats. They thought to themselves, why didn’t the humans slow down? Because they knew the Manatees were in the water. The only logical explanation was that the humans enjoyed it so the Manatees decided to return the favour.
Marvin the Manatee led the attacks
Animals all over the world have greeted the Manatees decision with joy as well as jubilation. Finally the humans are getting a taste of their own medicine. In addition it is rumoured that other species are thinking of joining them, Blue Whales are contemplating ramming whaling ships and Bull Sharks have launched Human Hand Soup.
Marvin swam off back into the Everglades to encourage even more Manatees to continue attacking swimmers in Florida.
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