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"Critically Endangered Animals declare war on the human race"

News from the Natural World: A coalition of Critically Endangered Animals have declared war on the human race.

News from the Natural World: A coalition of Critically Endangered Animals have declared war on the human race.

The Platypus can exclusively reveal that WWIII has officially begun. A tight knit group of all of the worlds Critically Endangered Animals have announced their intention to wage a bloody and brutal war against humanity. It is thought that every single animal on the dreaded list has joined the fight and will take up tooth, claw, fang and wing against the worlds most dangerous species, humans.

It was the Mountain Gorillas who started the movement. The Platypus gained access to the leader of the military campaign, Gertrude the Gorilla. Gertrude said that they would not stand by and wait for extinction. They had been waiting for decades for humans to do the right thing as their population plummeted. Year after year they were losing more and more Gorillas. Numbers have dropped to as low as 900. They were being killed by poachers, hunted for bushmeat, suffering due to deforestation and disease. Gertrude and the Mountain Gorillas had had enough!

Critically Endangered
Critically Endangered Gertrude declares war

If they were going to extinct that would do it on their own terms. They weren’t going to stand by and wait for humans to continue to sit idly by as they continued to die. They would have to fight for their survival. So war was declared against the human race. After the declaration they formed an alliance with all of the conservationists and park rangers had worked to protect them. They too had had enough of putting their lives on the line to save the Gorillas and would fight alongside them against the human race.

Critically endangered animals declare war on the human race

Gertrude issued a call to all Critically Endangered Animals across the world. She wanted to hit the humans hard where it hurt, electricity, supply lines and energy. She knew the modern human couldn’t survive long without power. A regiment of the remaining 70 Amur Leopards joined up. They immediately set about sabotaging the colossal Natural Ga pipelines in Russia which feed Europe. Orangutans all over Borneo and Sumutra started killing the owners of Palm Oil plantations and snatching the corrupt government officials from their bedrooms while they slept.

Critically endangered orangutan
Critically Endangered Orangutans join the fight

But this was just the begining. Gertude had issued a mighty call to arms and Critically Endangered Animals all over the world rose up against the human race. They would no longer stand by and wait to go extinct. “Oh please mister humans, stop killing us all and eradicating our species so you can have a slightly more comfortable life.” Ridiculous.

2,000 sumatran elephants joined and started ramming trucks transporting oil off the roads. In addition a platoon of 100 Vaquita started destroying the Oil platforms in the Gulf of Mexico. Also Stellar Sea Lions in California have started destroying the underground cables that provide electricity to San Francisco. Ultimately all 2,464 critically endangered animal species have joined the war against humans.

Finally, how many other species will join up? Find out more as Critically Endangered Animals have finally declared war on the human race.

TAKE ACTION – here

Critically endangered gorillas
Gorilla training in Guerrilla warfare

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