News from the Natural World: World War 3 has begun as animals rise up to fight against the human race.
Last week Gertrude the Mountain Gorilla officially declared war on the human race. She invited Critically Endangered Animals across the world to join her in their fight for survival against the human race. Over 2,500 species joined up to wage war against the most destructive animal the world has ever seen, the human. But the Platypus can exclusively reveal that the conflict has snowballed. Every animal on the planet decided to join up and fight against the humans. It has officially become World War 3.
This is the first inter-species World War. Previously it had just been humans murdering each other in colossal numbers. In addition to finding ever more ingenious ways to obliterate each other. From mustard gas to atomic bombs the humans were the masters of unnecessary death. Animals thought that humans might do them all a favour and wipe themselves off the face of the earth. But alas after the Second World War humans instead turned their attention to destroying the natural world.
World War 3 – Animals vs Humans
Animals all across the world joined the Critically Endangered Animals because it was the perfect moment. They too felt like it was only a matter of time before they were facing their doom. The world was experiencing a 6th extinction caused by humans and had lost half of its wildlife in the last 40 years. The animals had truly been pushed to the brink and had no choice but to declare war.
Due to the increase in animal soldiers, Gertrude the Gorilla has changed her military tactics. Initially when it was just the Critically Endangered Animals they started attacking supply chains, infrastructure and oil and gas lines. But now they had every single animal on the planet on their side they could switch to all out attack. Lions in Africa set off on a colossal hunt to kill each corrupt government official who had ever taken a bribe. All across Brazil Jaguars began eating the owners of illegal logging companies. The Polar Bear Platoon has effectively rendered the Arctic a no go zone and the oceans are also off limits for humans as all Sharks are feasting and Whales are ramming ships.
Polar Bear platoon proving huge success
But it is not just these large animal shock troops that are joining the fight. Colossal swarms of mosquito, locusts and cockroaches are rising up and devastating crop supplies. All across cities rats are emerging from the sewers and infecting water supplies. It is clear that in the first few days of World War Three the humans don’t stand a chance.
Now that the animal kingdom has finally got its act together, humans look set to be against the odds in World War Three.
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