“Secret document shows animals started World War One”

News from the Natural World: Secret documents show that animals started World War One.

News from the Natural World: Secret documents show that animals started World War One.

World War One was believed to have started because someone bought a sandwich. History says it was because a chap was a bit peckish and nipped off for a spot of lunch. It was this decision, by Gavrillo Princip that led to an opportunistic assassination and kickstarted a chain of events that kickstarted the worlds first global war. The sandwich thing and also the inevitable self fulfilling prophecy of endless violence and destruction perpetuated by humans across all of time. For the last 100 years this has been the established historical thinking.

But the Platypus can exclusively reveal that this is only half of the story. There was a deeper layer to the onion and a hidden agent provocateur. This sleeper agent was an Earwig. That Earwig started the First World War. The Earwig community recently released the diaries of Ernest the Earwig, a prominent lifelong spy. Ernest was part of the “Order of the Flaming Fauna”. It was this secretive group that started everything.

Animals started World War One

animals World War One
Ernest the Earwig, member of the animal spy network pictured just before World War One

The “Order of the Flaming Fauna” was set up in 1889 by animals who were worried about the rise of humanity. They had watched on as the industrial revolution, human expansion and travel had wrecked havoc on the natural world. Species were being pushed to the brink by human greed. They’d already lost the Dodo, the Great Auk, the Moa and the American Bison. They knew they needed to stop the humans now or it would be too late. They set up a plan to try and get the humans to destroy each other.

World War One started by an Earwig called Ernest

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: