News from the Natural World: Dogs demand recognition for being the first species in space.
Dogs have finally risen up and demanded recognition for being the first animal in space. They had grown absolutely sick and tired of hearing humans bang on and on about space travel. About how brave and pioneering they were. About how Astronauts were the most fearsome and courageous of all animals. Brave? You sacks of Homo Sapian S**t! They were only brave enough to send dogs into space first! Sure, brave enough to build the the rockets but not actually brave enough to test them for themselves. It wasn’t humans who pioneered space travel, it was dogs!
Dogs first animal in space
In fact it was a rhesus monkey who made the first journey. He was called Albert 1 and was the first animal launched into suborbital space in 1948. However it wasn’t until 1957 that an animal made it into orbit. That animal was a dog. The dog was called Laika. She was launched on board the Soviet Sputnik 2 spacecraft on November the 3, 1957. Laika was a mixed breed and one of the bravest dogs who ever lived and Dogs have demanded recognition. She should be more famous than Neil Armstrong.
Laika was a young mongrel. She was rescued from the harsh streets of Moscow. Because she had been a stray she had already endured harsh conditions of hunger and cold, perfect for space travel. She was trained for space travel by being kept in incredibly small cages and learned to eat a nutritious gel. She was a pioneer and a true astronaut. However her story ended in tragedy. Her trip into orbit was one-way.
Recognition for Laika the dog
In a brutal blow to the canine species Laika didn’t return. Her trip into space didn’t include a re-entry strategy. She drifted through space, the first animal to set eyes on the Pacific Ocean from the heavens, the first to see the Great Wall of China in all its glory. The animal kingdom watched on as Laika’s spacecraft burned up in the upper atmosphere in April 1958. Finally, Dogs have demanded recognition for this act of pioneering bravery.
Dogs are speaking on behalf of all animals. Many other species were early pioneers in space travel as humans cowardly used them for testing safety and feasibility of sending living beings into space. How incredibly cowardly. They sent countless animals to their deaths. Alongside Laika, Dogs have demanded recognition for the following animals;
Dogs demand recognition for space travel
- Gordo, a squirrel monkey, travelled 600 miles into the sky on December 13, 1958. Unfortunately he perished when he crashed into the ocean and his flotation device failed. He drowned.
- Able, a Rhesus monkey, and Baker, a squirrel monkey, flew into space on May 28, 1959. Both surged 300 miles into space and returned unharmed. But ultimately Able died during an procedure to take out an electrode from beneath her fur.
- Ham, a chimp, was trained as an astronaut. He was exceptionally skilled and could pull levers to receive banana pellets and avoid electric shocks (thats right that they shocked them with electricity). He was the first ever animal to successfully engage with another space craft.
- On Oct. 18, 1963 Felix was the first cat in space, he survived his return.
- Two Russian dogs, Veterok and Ugolyok travelled into space on Feb. 22, 1966. They set a record for space orbit at a breath taking 22 days. This was a record that humans did not break until 1974.
The news has been met with widespread approval from the animal kingdom. Dogs finally demand recognition for being the first species in space.
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