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“Himalayan Jumping Spider claims to have climbed Everest first”

News from the Natural World: A Himalayan Jumping Spider has claimed to have climbed Everest first.

If the report is true the shocking revelation will not only turn the mountaineering community upside down but also upend the collective human consciousness. Hilary & Norgays first ascent of Everest, in May 1953, was heralded as a pinnacle of human achievement. The moment that mankind stood on the highest point on the planet. Alongside Neil Armstrongs first step on the moon this achievement has cemented humans perception of their domination of the natural world. However a shocking new claim has changed everything.

The Platypus can exclusively reveal that there is a usurper to the throne of Everest. Hilda the Himalayan jumping spider has claimed that her Great Grandmother Helga was actually the first animal to climb Mt Everest. She said that Helga climbed the mountain on Monday 1st of June 1952. Her Great Grandma had been an avid climber all her life and was famous across the Himalayan Jumping Spider community.

Himalayan Jumping Spider Everest
Helga the Himalayan Jumping Spider training for Everest

The Himalayan jumping spider is a small jumping spider that lives at elevations of up to 6,700m in the Himalayas, including Mount Everest. They are the highest known permanent resident on the planet. Also they are the ultimate climber and high altitude specialists. They are found among rocky debris, feeding on tiny, stray springtails and flies. They had been living on Everest for thousands of years before humans turned up.

Himalayan Jumping Spider first to climb Everest

Even amongst Himalayan Jumping Spiders Helga was an exceptional climber. Every single month she was venturing further and further up Everest. One day on the first morning in June 1952 she set out to climb all the way to the top. She wanted to be the first animal to stand on the highest point of the planet. In addition, she’d always loved climbing and wanted to go down in animal history. She set off and after 5 grueling hours made it to the summit, there was a particularly tricky final section that she traversed majestically. Helga called it the Helga Step. Finally, she made it, the first animal to climb Everest.

The Platypus verified the photos that Helga took and can confirm that she was indeed the first animal, and woman, to climb Everest. Why didn’t Helga reveal the news to the world? “Well, humans never asked. You never asked animals.” The world record was well known in the animal kingdom and Helga was universally famous, just not known by humans. Usain Bolt claims to be the fastest on the planet, has he heard of a cheetah? World high jump record, have you met a flea? Worlds strongest man, hasn’t he met a Polar Bear?

So the rumours were true, a Himalayan Jumping Spider called Helga climbed Everest first.

TAKE ACTION – here

Himalayan Jumping Spider Everest
Himalayan Jumping Spider pictured on top of Everest (look closely)

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Find out who the Platypus is – here

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