News from the Natural World: Filbert the Froghopper has claimed the high jump world record.
A Froghopper by the name of Filbert has launched an extraordinary claim that could shock the sporting world. If verified it will shatter the perceptions of what is physically possible. Furthermore it will shine a light on human arrogance and ignorance in the face of the natural world. Filbert the Froghopper has stated that he has obliterated the world high jump record.
Froghoppers are an insect with a dark black body covered in red spots. Nymphs (baby Froghoppers) are commonly known as spittlebugs due to the foam they leave behind on the stems of plants. They are the greatest jumpers of the animal kingdom and constantly leap from plant to plant. Some can jump as much as 70cm vertically and accelerate 4,000 mm/s2 over 2 mm as they jump (experiencing over 400gs of acceleration).
Froghopper claims high jump record
In the animal kingdom jumping prowess is measured by how high you can jump over your height. This is the global measurement to let all animals compete fairly in jumping competitions. Filbert was always a keen jumper even by Froghopper standards. He would wake up early in the morning, eat the same breakfast every day and be the first on the training field. Then he would leap as if his life depended on it. Leaping left, leaping right, leaping everywhere! All across the Froghopper community he was revered and idolised because of his high jumping prowess.
One morning Filbert saw a news article about the Olympic Games. He was in awe as images of athletes leaping and jumping against each other in fierce competition flashed across the screen. They ran, leapt and competed like their life depended on it. The crowd went wild and thousands cheered the athletes names. Filbert knew that this was his destiny. But email after email and call after call he was ignored. He kept asking to be invited to compete, after all he was the unified world champion high jumper in the animal kingdom. But the humans ignored him.
Animals embarrassed by human high jump world record
When he turned on the final of the high jump everything changed. His face turned red and he burst out laughing. The humans were only jumping between 2.2m and 2.4m, it was pitiful. He quickly Googled the high jump world record, 2.45m. This was humiliation of the highest order. These humans were putting these pretenders into stadiums and hanging medals round their necks but they were’t even jumping twice their height! Not even twice their height!
Filbert couldn’t believe it, the average Froghopper could jump over 100 times its own height. His record stood at 109 times his own height. Comparatively it would be the equivalent of a human jumping 535 feet vertically. They were no where near him, it was embarrassing. Even a Flea (the 2nd highest jumping animal) could out jump the humans.
Finally, Filbert the Froghopper has claimed the high jump world record and laughed in the face of the arrogant humans.
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