News from the Natural World: Aristurtle and his new philosophy is taking the animal kingdom by storm.
The animal kingdoms greatest philosopher has come up with a new philosophy for animals to live their lives by. It is sweeping the natural world by storm as species after species move to adopt its central tenets. Long has the animal kingdom stood by and watched as human beliefs and principles have dominated the planet. But no more will they sit idly by as humanities philosophies lay waste to the natural world.
Aristurtle is the greatest philosopher in all of the animal kingdom. He is the wisest, most erudite thinker of his time. Even wiser than Simone de Beaver, Immanuel Ant and Karl Markhor. Also, he is a brilliant theologian and travels the oceans ruminating on the meaning of life for all animals. In addition he is an ancient green turtle, the longest living of all turtles. It is rumoured that he is over 90 years old.
New philosophy of the animal kingdom
Aristurtle had been engaging in deep conversions on the meaning of animal life with Jean Polecat Sartre. Jean Polecat Sartre is a member of the Mustelid family and roughly the size of a Ferret. He was Aristurtles greatest friend. His species has been brought to the brink of extinction through persecution, hunting and habitat destruction. He had had enough of humans and their complete disregard for the other animals on the planet. It was these discussions that helped Aristurtle form his new philosphy.