News from the Natural World: Sloths have been proven to be the greatest lovers in the animal kingdom.
The Platypus can exclusively reveal that new data has once and for all confirmed who the greatest lover in the animal kingdom is. It is something that all species have long argued over. Each felt that they were the true Romeo of the animal kingdom.
Sloths the worlds greatest lovers
Dogs had long argued that they were the greatest lovers. Because after all they had come up with one of the worlds most popular positions. However the Cows then entered the argument and claimed that their signature move, along with the reverse technique, was actually the most popular. The debate was spiralling out of control.
The Dragonfly, Starfish, The Spider Web, The Galloping Horse and the Kneeling Fox. Animals all across the world laid claim to being the greatest lover. Humans had even begun naming positions after them. Claim after claim kept coming in. The Turtle, the Crab, the Butterfly and even the Tail of the Ostrich. Whilst it was true that these animals were brilliant lovers and that the humans had adopted their practices with gusto. None of them could eclipse the greatest lover of the animal kingdom, the Sloth.
It is true, the Sloth is the greatest lover of all. The Platypus gathered data from all over the natural world. They interviewed every species and every human, from the weird to the wonderful. The research showed that Sloths were undoubtedly the greatest lovers and the true Romeos of the animal kingdom. The Platypus managed to secure an interview with the leader of the Sloths. Just why was the Sloth the greatest lover of all?
“Because we take it slowwwwwwwwww”.
Indeed, taking it slow like a Sloth was proven to be the most effective method. Sloths have been proven to be the greatest lovers in the animal kingdom.
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