News from the Natural World: Kang-Fu: Kangaroos have claimed to have invented ancient martial art before humans.
The Platypus can exclusively reveal that Kangaroos are laying claim to the ancient martial art of Kung-Fu. It all started when a group of human tourists was on a walking safari in Kakadu National Park. They were looking for all kinds of animals, Dingo, Wombat, Brown Snakes and especially Kangaroos. As they crested a hill they saw a large mob of Kangaroos. They couldn’t believe it, the Kangaroos seemed to be practising Kung-Fu!
Kung-Fu is an old fighting style that was previously believed to have developed over the centuries in China. It is classified according to common traits, identified as “families”, “sects” or “schools” within the martial art. It takes many years of practice and hard work to become a Kung-Fu master. Students from all over the world flock to the schools of prestigious trainers to learn their way. Until this moment the human species believed that it had invented the art form.
It was this same ancient martial art that the Kangaroos in Kakadu National Park were doing. They were leaping, swirling, jabbing and dancing in unison. At the head of the Kangaroos was clearly the leader. Also known as the Master in Kung-Fu. He was barking orders to the gathered Kangaroos and they moved as one, with grace and elegance. There was no doubt that they were practising some ancient hither-too unseen form of the martial art.
Kangaroos claim to have invented Kung-Fu
The Platypus was approached to interview our fellow countryanimal. Keith the Kangaroo Kang-Fu master agreed to be interviewed. He was enraged when we asked him how he had come to learn the Chinese art of Kung-Fu. “Its called Kang-Fu not bloody Kung-Fu!” Furthermore, he added that the Kangaroos had been practising it for hundreds of thousands of years. It was an integral part of Kangaroo culture. They used it to teach discipline to young joeys and foster a sense of community. He was furious that the humans thought they’d invented it.
“Typical bloody humans. Always thinking that they invented something, that they were the first to do something. Plagiarising sacks of sh*t!” Kevin vented that Kang-Fu had been a part of Kangaroo culture for centuries. The humans must have stolen it. It must have happened when the humans committed the great genocide of Australia and all but wiped out the indigenous humans and native animals. They clearly must have seen the Kangaroos performing the martial art and taken it back to China for bastardisation.
The humans didn’t have a great track record on plundering Australia for its physical and cultural resources. Not only were they experts at this they were also esteemed in covering their tracks and rewriting history. So we were forced to agree with Kevin. The Platypus can concur that Kangaroos invented Kung-Fu before humans.
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