Entertainment

“Pig Tickling declared illegal after abuse claims”

News from the Natural World: Pig Tickling has been declared illegal after abuse claims.

News from the Natural World: Pig Tickling has been declared illegal after virulent abuse claims.

The ancient practice of Pig Tickling has finally been banned after rampant reports of widespread animal cruelty emerged. The shocking reports surfaced after images were shared online which then went viral. The photos showed horrific displays of rampant tickling.

Pig Tickling
Horrific Pig Tickling practice

Pig Tickling is the old practice of grabbing, picking up and tickling a pig. It was originally used as a way to display strength and mastery of the animal kingdom. Children would practice on piglets, they would chase them in their pens and leap on the terrified animals. The humans even turned it into a competitive art form where they would challenge each other to see who could tickle a pig for the longest. They held farmers markets and competitions as well. They perpetuated the myth that it was harmless and that the pigs enjoyed it. But this was not true. It tormented the pigs and caused them great distress. But there were other numerous acts of horror that the humans inflicted on the pigs.

Pig Tickling declared illegal

Pig Tickling was not the only physical abuse that humans carried out against pigs. They would snatch day old piglets away from their mothers as soon as they were born. In addition they would keep them in cramped tiny cages and inflict severe pain upon them. But weirdest of all they would grab their genitals with their hands and masturbate them. They would grab their penises and shove weird instruments inside their vaginas. This traumatised the pigs, as if their endless suffering wasn’t enough the humans were now molesting them. The humans had a name for it, artificial insemination.

Pig Tickling
Isn’t the Pig Tickling enough torture!

Philomena the Pig spoke out against the abusive humans. After all the abuse they suffered, the instant orphaning, endless torment and molesting the Pig Tickling was a step too far. She said that the pigs certainly didn’t enjoy the practice and found it traumatic. Though the pictures appeared to show them smiling they were actually grimaces of pain and torture. “How would you like it!? Touching you in your private places and tickling you to within an inch of your life?”.

Wasn’t artificially inseminating us enough??

In their blind ignorance, arrogance and stupidity the humans said that they thought the pigs were enjoying it. It was all a bit of “a laugh”. Furthermore they said they were only pigs, “who cares how they felt!?”. Well, as The Platypus and all other animals know, pigs are one of the wisest, most intelligent and caring animals on the planet. Pigs can often outsmart dogs and are on about the same intellectual level as our closest living relatives, chimpanzees. They can solve complex problems, are highly sensitive and can even play computer games.

It is with great joy that we can announce that Pig Tickling has been declared illegal.

TAKE ACTION – here

Pig Tickling
Is this really necessary?

Read more articles like this – here

Find out who the Platypus is – here

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: