News from the Natural World: Siberian Tigers have been declared winners of World War 4 in a computer simulation.
Google had been working on a pioneering new computer project to simulate the outcome of a potential World War 4. Using a complex web of data they created an entire virtual world and watched as World War 4 unfolded. They modelled into the system the effects of World War 3, when Animals rose up and launched all out war on the human race. In the aftermath of World War 3 animals gained access to all human nano/bio/ai technology. Furthermore, this led to an arms race amongst all species and then exploded into World War 4.
The computer simulation showed that animals had access to technology which enhanced their intelligence, ability to work in large social groups and tool use. As soon as this happened they achieved equality with the human species. What happened next shocked the researchers. The animals completely wiped out the humans. They couldn’t rely on intelligence anymore and animals were far stronger, fiercer and better suited for global warfare.
Siberian Tigers win World War 4
Animals obliterated the humans in a combined attack. Then the animals turned on each other. Genetically enhanced Hippo submarine brigades assaulted legions of bio-engineered Crocodiles. Cyber infused eagle platoons massacred the hordes of sheep soldiers. The wisest of all the animals, the Great Apes retreated to the depths of the forests rather than fighting. This was because they were so ashamed that the animals had become just like the humans.
But it was the Siberian Tigers who rose to victory. All felines across the world announced an immediate alliance. The Lion Legion, Tiger Troops, Jaguar Jarheads and Operation Ocelot joined forces. Meanwhile the only species who rivalled them was the union of the Wolves. However they created their own virtual game which ended up distracting them. Sims 13 – “Bury the Bone”, was a computer simulation game where the player continuously buried a never ending bone in the garden. The Siberian Tigers secured all out victory by striking during the Wolves mass gaming time.
When the computer simulated Siberian Tigers were asked who their inspiration for victory was the Google team were shocked. The leader of the Siberian Tigers, named Tigris, addressed the AI interface in the WW4 simulation. She said that they had been inspired by the Netflix Documentary Tiger King. After watching it they realised that only by displaying cruelty and wanton disregard for other species could they truly become kings.
Finally, Siberian Tigers were declared winners of World War 4.
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