News from the Natural World: Harp Seals in Canada are absolutely fed up of being clubbed to death.
The Platypus can reveal that Harp Seals all across Canada are seriously fed up of being brutally clobbered to death. The constant clubbing has just become too much of a nuisance and inconvenience to the seal community. We managed to secure an interview with Henrietta the spokeseal for the Harp Seal community. She told us that it was just an absolute ruddy nuisance.
You’d be having a lovely morning, just minding your own business out on the ice flow. The cool breeze in the air, sun on your back and a belly full of fish when all of sudden bang! A bloody bullet would whack you smack in the back causing excruciating pain. Bloody would then start gushing out of you as you screamed in agony. As if that wasn’t bad enough around 30 seconds later a boat would pull up and some dastardly human would leap off onto the ice. This bugger would then sprint towards you with a whopping big club and bash your skull in. Leaving your splattered seal brains smashed all over the ice flow.
Harp Seals seriously fed up of club bonking
Frankly Henrietta had enough, it was a frightful sight and absolutely certain to ruin any seals day. Harp Seals were just trying to mind their own business. Also known as the Greenland Seal, the Harp Seal is a species of earless seal, or true seal. They are native to the northernmost Atlantic Ocean and Arctic Ocean. The life your average Harp Seal was tough enough without having a ruddy club boshing your head in. They regularly faced habitat destruction, oil spills, boat strikes and the melting of their precious ice flows. In addition they were hunted by pods of Orca and Polar Bears.