“Kamikaze pigeon bombers cover Trafalgar Square in exploding rice”

News from the Natural World: Kamikaze pigeon bombers cover Trafalgar Square in exploding rice.

News from the Natural World: Kamikaze pigeon bombers cover Trafalgar Square in exploding rice.

Last week strange reports started circulating in London. The bizarre tales told of an incident occurring under Nelsons Column, Trafalgar Square. At first it was just whispers of a weird event. But then images and videos began to emerge. The videos showed a huge horde of pigeons flowing through the air and then all of a sudden… BANG! The mad pigeons exploded and showered rice through the air. The unsuspecting human tourists below looked on in horror as the air is filled with an exploding orchestra of wings and rice. This rice acted like shrapnel and cut and wounded the human tourists below.

Kamikaze pigeon
Mad Kamikaze pigeon bombers

No one could understand why the mad kamikaze pigeon bombers were exploding and also why they were firing rice everywhere. After reviewing the footage it was discovered that a large group of pigeons slightly off camera was gathering outside an Indian Restaurant. They were round the back by the bins and could be seen gorging themselves on left over rice. As they feasted on the deadly dish their eyes bulged with red fury before they eventually took flight and headed for Nelsons Column. But this was complete madness, everyone knew that rice made pigeons explode.

Kamikaze pigeon bombers explode in hail of rice fire

The Platypus managed to secure an interview with the leader of the kamikaze pigeon bombers, Patricia. Patricia said that “For too long have we noble pigeons looked on as the human tourist looks down on us with disgust! For too long have we been treated as sky rats and tossed your discarded waste. We will suffer no more!”. She went on to say that the pigeons knew that eating rice would cause them to explode and they did it deliberately. They wanted to inflict as much pain and misery on the humans and most importantly ruin their pictures of Trafalgar Square. Truly a sign of the times and truly a mad bunch of kamikaze pigeons bombers.

1 comment

  1. Thornton heath pigeons , the saddest cruelty of Croydon council giving the birds at Gillett Rd Council estate starved, the birds have been here for years and I have fed them safe foods to eat , it was authorised and accepted , as the pigeons have lived here, only white bread slices were what they were be thrown , I gave them what I could and purchased foods, disappointed with unsafe oyster shell grit , took the particles out, the hard sharp dried corn.
    People us the word you use to describe yourselves, not stated what categories a decent person. Decency would be not starving pigeons or torturing them with sarcastic gestures, as britain know civilisation in not part of british culture.

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