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“Emperor Penguins tell satellite to piss off after hiding from humans for decades”

News from the Natural World: A group of Emperor Penguins have told humans and their pesky satellite to piss off after it discovered their nesting site.

News from the Natural World: A group of Emperor Penguins have told humans and their pesky satellite to piss off after it discovered their nesting site.

The Emperor Penguin is the tallest and heaviest of all living penguin species and is endemic to Antarctica. The male and female are similar in plumage and size, reaching 100 cm in length and weighing from 22 to 45 kg. They are able to survive and thrive in freezing cold conditions and climates. Sadly, today emperor penguins are considered near threatened and their populations are expected to decline rapidly in the years to come. They are severely threatened by rising temperatures due to global warming. In addition overfishing by humans has meant there is less food for them to eat. Furthermore, their whole life cycle is centred around the availability of sea-ice, and if this is diminished in the decades ahead – as the climate models project – then the animals’ numbers will be hit hard. However, humans recently made a shocking new discovery.

Emperor Penguins
Emperor Penguins poo gives the game away

Last week satellite observations found a raft of new Emperor penguin breeding sites in the Antarctic. Humans were able to identify the locations from huge patches of guana, or poo, that had marked the sea ice. The finding has raised the global Emperor Penguin population by 5-10%, to perhaps as many as 278,500 breeding pairs. Despite the fact that the humans welcomed the discovery the Penguins were less than impressed.

Emperor Penguins tell humans to piss off

The Platypus managed to secure an interview with the leader of the Emperor Penguins, Claudius. Claudius was absolutely furious! “We’ve been trying to hide from you humans for centuries. We first heard rumours from the whales of a horrific and destructive mammal landing on our white continent. We’ve been hiding ever since. I wish that bloody satellite would piss off!!!”

Well there you have it, straight from the Emperor Penguins beak. Emperor Penguins have finally told a satellite to piss off after hiding from humans for decades.

TAKE ACTION – NOW

Emperor Penguins
Chasing after our poo!? Just leave us alone!

Read more articles like this – here

Find out who the Platypus is – here

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