News from the Natural World: The English Defence League has called for all migratory birds to be sent home.
The far-right racist human group has called for an outright ban on all migratory birds entering the UK. The human group is an infamous social movement and pressure group comprised of uneducated white men who like drinking beer, football, the army and beating up humans with different coloured skin. They employ street demonstrations in an attempt to convert other humans to their cause. The fundamental belief they hold is that there should be no migration and everyone should just stay where they were born. It is this belief that has led most of their members to look like inbred pork scratchings.
Go HOME birds
It is this racism that truly defines the English Defence League. They despise all non-white humans and will do anything to stop them from coming into their country. The Platypus set out to investigate this far-right group and understand their beliefs. As an animal, we couldn’t understand their views on race and skin colour. In the animal kingdom racism doesn’t exist and skin colour plays no part in the laws of the natural world. The resplendent skin of the multi-coloured pygmy Chameleon holds as much importance as the dull grey hide of the Manatee. But the Platypus heard that the English Defence League were even angrier than normal, something had really upset them this time.
We discovered that the English Defence League was so furious because they discovered that millions of migrants were entering the UK every year. They were entering completely unknown and literally flying under the radar. In addition they were coming from Africa, the continent that the English Defence League hated the most. These migrants were birds. We managed to interview the leader of the racist group, No IQ Stu. No IQ Stu said that “These bloody birds need to piss off back home, they come over here with their little beaks and steal our jobs!”
English Defence League angry at migrating birds
The Platypus tried to explain to No IQ Stu and the rest of his bags of human s**t that migration was an absolutely fundamental tenant of the survival of all life on earth. That moving from where you were born was as natural as the wind, sea, earth and air. Seeds dispersed, Birds flew, Whales swam and Wildebeest migrated. The Platypus knew that we needed to get one last word in with the English Defence League scumbags. We turned to them and said…
“You do realise that the greatest migrant of them all is the white english male…”
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