News from the Natural World: Brexit has been abandoned after a Hedgehog ate the no deal documents.
News from the Natural World: Brexit has been abandoned after a Hedgehog ate the no deal documents. The Platypus can exclusively reveal that the Great British Shitshow, also known as Brexit, has been abandoned. The shocking revelation follows an accidental intervention by a mysterious four legged critter. Boris Johnson had been aggressively pursuing a no deal Brexit in the wake of the Coronavirus Pandemic. No Deal was being weaponised as a way to literally cut the UK off from Europe once and for all. Work on the no deal documents had been feverish and frantic. Just as it was nearing completion an unlikely intervention changed the course of history. Boris Johnson and his mad-eyed ostrich snake, Dominic Cummings, had been up for 48hrs non stop working on the final draft. As they both signed the final page, they set down the no deal documents and rewarded themselves with a drink. They had done it, they had finally completed the draft that would allow themselves to reveal their true identity to the world. The master and the apprentice, once more the Sith would rule the UK. Not since Darth Thatcher had a Sith Lord reigned supreme. However, Johnson and Cummings had made one fatal error as they slipped off into a deep sleep, they’d left the back door to the garden open.