Politics

“Putin employs squadrons of Polar Bears to search for oil in the Arctic”

News from the Natural World: Putin employs squadrons of Polar Bears to search for oil in the Arctic.

News from the Natural World: Putin employs squadrons of Polar Bears to search for oil in the Arctic.

Vladimir Putin, the leader of the largest human country on the planet, has revealed a brand new strategy for oil exploration in the Arctic Circle. Russia has long seen the Arctic Circle as its property as well as a fertile hunting ground for fossil fuels and natural gas. It is one of the last truly unexplored regions on the planet and its oil, mineral and gas wealth are colossal. Climate change and the melting of the ice caps has made exploration easier in recent years as new routes open up. However, Russia still faces huge challenges in the quest for oil as the Arctic is a desolate icy land. But that is all about to change after Putin launched a brand new policy.

Putin
Polar Bears are much more reliable than human workers

For the first time ever Russia will use squadrons of Polar Bears to search for oil in the Arctic. Putin masterminded the new scheme himself after he had heard of reports of Polar Bears heading further south due to the melting of the ice caps. As the pack ice in the Arctic was melting, Russia’s Polar Bear population was being forced to head south in search of food and suitable hunting grounds. They were malnourished, starving and unable to hunt seals due to the fragmentation of the ice flows. Putin had a brain wave and knew this was the perfect opportunity to hunt for oil in the Arctic.

Putin employs Polar Bears in search for oil

The Russian leader offered the Polar Bears the chance to join the Russian government and work in special squadrons to search for oil. He offered the Polar Bears a rate of one seal a week, healthcare benefits and their birthday off every year. He knew that they were starving, hungry and would be easy to exploit. We managed to secure an interview with Patricia the Polar Bear. Patricia said that she was just glad to have a job. Times were really hard for the Polar Bear community and she was just glad to get a seal every week. She said that Putin was one of the first humans to approach them with an offer of help. Normally it was just people waving guns at them and pointing cameras at them. Finally a human had reached out to help.

Putin has successfully employed squadrons of Polar Bears to search for oil in the Arctic.

TAKE ACTION – here

Putin
Putin and his favourite worker, Patricia

Read more articles like this – here

Find out who the Platypus is – here

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: