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“Mexican Beaded Lizard heads to America for a better way of life”

News from the Natural World: Mexican Beaded Lizard heads to America for a better way of life.

News from the Natural World: Mexican Beaded Lizard has made its way to America for a better way of life.

The Mexican Beaded Lizard is a truly special kind of lizard. Alongside the infamous Gila Monster, they are the only lizards known to have evolved an overt venom delivery system. They live in the deserts of Mexico and Southern Guatemala. It is covered in white/yellow stripes and spots which run across its dark black bumpy skin. They also have a think, fleshy tail that is shorter than its body. In addition, it has short powerful limbs and a stout stocky disposition. The Mexican Beaded Lizard spends almost its entire life, up to 98% of it, underground. But something recently awoke the venomous lizard and they have begun an unprecedented migration.

Mexican Beaded Lizard
Mexican Beaded Lizard searching for a better life

The Platypus first began to hear reports of a huge campaign and movement emerging across the lizard community. They were waiting until the dead of the night and crossing the border away from the beady eyes of bright white spotlights. We managed to secure an interview with the leader of the lizards, a chap called Manny. Manny said that many of his reptilian brothers and sisters were leaving in search of a better way of life. They were looking for job opportunities, a better standard of living and access to education for their offspring. They had heard that north of Mexico a great orange lizard by the name of Trump was promising a better way of life for all. But Manny began to sadden as his story continued.

Mexican Beaded Lizard searches for better way of life

Manny said that they had heard of a powerful cold-blooded reptile who was leading the Americans to a promised land of prosperity. Manny and the Mexican Beaded Lizard community had believed that this lizard lord was the answer to their problems, that this Trump could save his kind. How wrong the lizards were. All they found north of the border was fast food, obesity, diabetes, racist incarceration and far-right nationalists. This was no better than their previous life in Mexico and Manny realised he had made a mistake in leaving. The final straw was when the lizards found out that this Trump was not who they had thought he would be. He was a powerful reptilian overlord as they had always hoped. But he had no desire to help his fellow lizard kin.

With disgust and disappointment, Manny and the rest of the Mexican Beaded Lizards returned to Mexico after finding that life was no better in the USA.

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Mexican Beaded Lizard
Mexican Beaded Lizard worship Trump, the Lizard King!

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