News from the Natural World: Extinction Rebellion only manages to negatively influence people who already believed in climate change.
News from the Natural World: Extinction Rebellion only manage to negatively influence people who already believe in climate change.
A new scientific report founded on no facts has 100% shown that Extinction Rebellion only managed to negatively affect people who already believe in climate change. The report was commissioned by the UNFSYOFB, also known as the United Nations Smell Your Own Fart Bureau. The group canvassed 100,000 people who had witnessed a live protest. The results were absolutely shocking.
Over 99% felt annoyed by the self-righteousness and smugness of Extinction Rebellion. Furthermore, they were furious at their tactics and the speciality of glueing themselves to trains and stopping people using public transport. The report also showed 85% of people were furious at the amount of rubbish left behind after the protests. But the most terrifying statistic was yet to come. The data clearly showed that over 75% of people who had previously believed in climate change had changed their mind after witnessing the Extinction Rebellion rally.
Extinction Rebellion accused of smelling its own farts
The report also stated that if you’re not already convinced of climate change and the effects of humanities greed and destruction on the natural world then a few white middle class people dressed as vegetables are unlikely to convince you otherwise. The Platypus set out to discover the truth behind the report and discovered that it was all true. Why did Extinction Rebellion think that people who weren’t convinced by the science, evidence, data and facts would instead be convinced of climate change because 10 wealthy white people wore red robes and white face paint?
Furthermore, we discovered that Extinction Rebellion wasn’t ACTUALLY trying to convince people. They just wanted to wallow in their own smugness. The whole group was just content with a self-congratulating love in. This was only really aimed at people in their inner circle of people in their ‘gang’. Don’t they realise that it is the centre-ground that is critical to occupy? That the 10% on the left shouting at 10% on the right just isn’t going to win over anyone in the middle. They’ve made conversation a class issue and alienated huge swathes of the planet. The Platypus on behalf of all animals please begs them to stop what they are doing and find a different way to help the natural world.