News from the Natural World: A Bald Eagle is set to run for President against Trump and Kanye West.
In a shocking announcement, there is a new front runner for the USA Presidential election in November. In early July Kanye West announced that he would be running for president, many thought it was a joke but Kanye was 100% serious. He would join the race against Trump and Biden and fully intended to win. However there is an even more shocking and surprising entrant who announced their intention to run today. Bertha the Bald Eagle has declared she too will run for President of the USA.
Bertha the Bald Eagle was the wisest and greatest of all the Eagles across the USA. Her species, the Bald Eagle has been the national emblem of the United States since 1782. In addition, it was a spiritual symbol for native people for far longer than that. Though Bertha isn’t really bald, her white-feathered head gleams in contrast to her chocolate-brown body and wings. Bertha and her kind were once endangered by hunting and pesticides, but Bald Eagles have since flourished under protection. She announced her decision to run for president after watching Kanye West launch his bid.
Bald Eagle to take on Trump and Kanye
If she wins she will not only be the first ever female president she will also become the first non-human president. Many critics have shouted that it is ridiculous for a Bald Eagle to run, how could an animal possibly be president!? The Platypus set off to find out. We managed to secure an interview with Bertha….
“Why is it more ridiculous that I might win? I mean Donald Trump won. This man paid £85,000 to post ads advocating for the return of the death penalty at the time of the wrongly convicted Central Park 5. Despite the 5 young black children of the case spending 10 years in jail and then being proved innocent by DNA testing. He still refused to apologise, there were two sides to every story he said. “Grab em by the Pussy” as they say. If this man can win then why not Bertha. When you throw Kanye West into the mix it really is taking the piss. I mean if you humans are stupid enough to vote for either of those two then why wouldn’t you vote for a Bald Eagle….”.
Bertha went on to say that she had heard many newspapers claiming that Kanye and Trump had ‘bird brains’ or brains the size of the birds. So she thought she would make the perfect candidate. Wise words from Bertha the Bald Eagle and she for one will have the Platypus’s vote come the US election in November.
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