News from the Natural World: Extinction Rebellion members eat their own farts to fight methane emissions.
Members of the far left ecological awareness movement, Extinction Rebellion have resorted to a horrifying new tactic in order to fight climate change. The global environmental movement has the stated aim of using nonviolent civil disobedience to compel government action to avoid tipping points in the climate system, biodiversity loss, and the risk of social and ecological collapse. But the new tactic that has emerged is truly a bold and horrifying step for the group. They have started consuming their own farts in a drastic attempt to fight methane emissions.
Videos and images of the practice first went viral after an Extinction Rebellion protest in New York City. Members of the group were seen farting into bottles, sandwiches and even coffee cups. They would open the sandwich right under their anus, let rip and then enclose the fart inside the two slices of bread. Some would even sniff the sandwich before eating it, seemingly tasting it on the air. Finally, they would then tuck into their fart filled pack lunch and continue the protest. The world was at first baffled by this bizarre behaviour so The Platypus set out to investigate.
Extinction Rebellion members start eating farts
We donned our finest broccoli costume and joined a march in San Francisco. We observed the same fart eating behaviour and asked one of the human Extinction Rebellion members what they were doing. They said at first it had just started as them smelling their own farts, they’d gather together and release huge clouds of methane smugness. But then they realised that if they were true environmentalists they would have to stand by their self-righteous narcissistic vanity and go the full hog. They decided that the only way to reduce their own methane emissions was to eat their own farts. Closing their emissions in a circle.
The Platypus was shocked and astounded by their behaviour. However, we discovered an even more horrifying side effect. By consuming their own farts everything that subsequently came out their mouths contained an extremely high level of bullshit.
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