News from the Natural World: Catholic Missionaries fail to convert Chimpanzees to Catholicism.
News from the Natural World: Catholic Missionaries have failed to convert Chimpanzees to Catholicism. Catholic Missionaries are one of the most peculiar branches of humans and have long been one of the greatest plagues on planet earth. For hundreds of years they have travelled the globe trying to persuade other humans to believe in a complete load of nonsense. Not only would they attempt to brainwash other humans into believing that humans were more important than animals, that being gay was unnatural and that women weren’t equal to men. They also used Catholicism to mask horrific crimes, exploitation and subjugation of millions of other humans. They burned human women as witches, slaughtered indigenous humans as ‘savages’ and whitewashed Jesus into a white western human. Oh and they also protected human child molesters. Good old human Catholics. But the Catholic Missionaries were not just happy with converting over 1 billion people to the lunacy of their belief system. They decided to turn their attention to the animal kingdom. They had wrecked enough havoc on human kind and decided that now was the perfect moment to convert the first ever animal to Christianity. But which animal would the Catholic Missionaries choose? Despite rejecting most, if not all, of the facts and evidence of science they decided that just this once they would listen to the data. They decided to select the animal closest to the human species in terms of DNA and genetics. They chose the Chimpanzee.