News from the Natural World: Teenage Slugs are going wild at deadly beer soaked garden raves.
A lethal new craze is sweeping the mollusc world and taking its teenage denizens by storm. Videos and photos of inebriated youths have gone viral amongst the animal kingdom. Slug mothers and fathers are running around in terror as they try to shield their sluglets from the horrifying images. This deadly new craze has swept across the Slug community with vengeance and is spreading terror and chaos. But what is gripping teenage Slugs and shaking them within an inch of their life?
The deadly new craze involves going absolutely wild at deadly beer soaked garden raves. The Slugs worked out that if they targeted a human garden then that human would leave them a deadly treat. If they munched enough greens the human would become enraged and submerge little pots and cups throughout the vegetable patch. These little pots and cups contained the human elixir of doom known as beer.
Teenage Slugs going berserk at drunken garden raves
At first, the teenage slugs would dive headfirst into these beer cups and consume as much of the golden liquid as they could. They would become so delirious with joy and drunkenness that they would slip and fall into the cup. Drowning in a strange heavenly stupor like some mad intoxicated Sarlac pit. But the teenage slugs worked out that if that were quick enough, or just sipped from the edge then they could get just the right amount of beer hit. They would then spend the rest of the night slithering around the vegetable patch in circles and losing their keys and wallet. Sometimes if they got REALLY drunk they’d even try and sleep with a Snail. Oh, the horror!
But for some teenage slugs the temptation and joy proved too much and they would overdose on the beer soaked pots. Photos emerged of slugs upon slugs heaped up in a putrefying mass of blackened and swollen jelly babies. Slug families have been warned to lock up their teenage Slugs to stop them going wild at deadly beer soaked garden raves.
TAKE ACTION – now
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