News from the Natural World: Risso’s Dolphin disputes claim that Colombus discovered the new world.
A Risso’s Dolphin from the southern Portuguese coastline has come forward with an extraordinary claim that has rocked the animal kingdom and human world. Risso’s dolphin is the only species of dolphin in the genus Grampus. They are commonly known as the Monk dolphin by many fishermen. Some of the closest related species to them include pilot whales, pygmy killer whales, melon-headed whales, and false killer whales. They are expert ocean navigators in addition to being adept long-distance travellers. Yesterday morning one of these Risso’s Dolphin called Rafaela came forward and announced that Christopher Columbus did not discover the new world.
The claim sent ripples through the human world. How could Rafaela say such a thing!? She was a Portuguese Risso’s Dolphin after all and Columbus was a hero of the Portuguese and the western world. But Rafaela was persistent and would not bow down to criticism and insults. She insisted that Columbus was nowhere near the first to discover the “New World”. She said that it was well known fact amongst the Risso’s Dolphin community that her Great Grandma, 47 times over, had been the first European animal to discover the Americas. Raquel was her name and she was great traveller and adventurer even amongst the dolphin community. One morning she had set out, swam all the way to the Americas and made the journey back in 3 months. She had been the first! But Rafaela wasn’t finished, she turned to the human TV cameras and said;
Risso’s Dolphin furious with Columbus
“Let’s take my Great Grandma Raquel out the picture for a second. I mean, for a start Columbus wasn’t even the first human! There were humans there for thousands of years. Its the greatest story of human exploration that ever existed. Daring and courageous homo sapiens walked and sailed over thousands and thousands of years all the way from Central Africa to the Americas. An immense and incomprehensible journey that shaped the planet in ways few can imagine. The ancient homo sapiens are the true explorers. Yet you typical bloody humans decide to tell the story of the first “WHITE” human who discovered the Americas. What did he do when he turned up? Give everyone diseases, stole their land and slaughtered them all. And one more thing, he didn’t even reach mainland America, he just rocked up in the Bahama’s.”