Bats in Wuhan are Fighting to Claim Responsibility for Infecting Donald Trump

News from the Natural World: Bats in Wuhan are all fighting to claim responsibility for infecting Donald Trump.
News from the Natural World: Bats in Wuhan are all fighting to claim responsibility for infecting Donald Trump. The human playground bully known as Donald Trump and the US first lady Melania Trump has tested positive for COVID-19. The human president announced their test results on Twitter in the small hours of this morning and insisted: “We will get through this TOGETHER!”. The president is considered a ‘high risk’ because of his age and weight. This prompted cries of support as well as mockery in the human world. However, the response in the animal kingdom, where the coronavirus originated, was very different. In late 2019 someone at the now world-famous Huanan seafood market in Wuhan was infected with a virus from an animal. The rest is part of an awful reality sci-fi novel with the first cluster spreading to kill over 1 million people. Early research suggests that the Pangolin was the staging post for the virus before it spread to humans. But the intermediary, the fuse if you will, is rumoured to be a bat. But why did the bats choose to infect the humans?
Bats in Wuhan
Bats in Wuhan believed to be the intermediary
Previously the bats had denied that they had deliberately transmitted the virus. They said that their species had been pushed the brink by human greed. In addition, their homes, forest and natural habitat had also been destroyed. Furthermore, they had been stuffed into tiny cramp cages and tortured alongside other wild animals. Finally, they had been boiled alive in huge vats and served as a speciality soup for humans. It was the human’s destruction of their habitat that led to the bat’s involvement in the spreading of the Coronavirus. But with the news of Donald Trump being infected the bat’s story has changed.

Bats in Wuhan fighting to claim patient zero mantle

The bats are now rushing to claim responsibility for the being the actual bat who first transmitted the virus from a Pangolin and subsequently to the humans. The Platypus managed to infiltrate the Wuhan bat society and overheard a commotion…. “I was the first bat to say I was feeling unwell. No no, I knew I was coming down with something before you said anything… No, I’m Infectacus!” Another bat cried “I’m Infectacus” and so on and so on. They were bickering amongst themselves and saying they couldn’t turn down the opportunity to have been THE bat who infected Donald Trump. They would be declared a hero in the animal kingdom. No human leader on the planet was more responsible for destroying the natural world. His beat sheet read like a Top Trumps of being the most lethal nature destroyer out there. Pulling out of the Paris Climate Change Agreement, tearing up the Endangered Species Act. If it was a crime against nature then you could be pretty sure Donald’s name would be somewhere near it.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: