“I’m so sorry’ yells hungry Great White Shark attacking human swimmer”

News from the Natural World: A hungry Great White Shark was caught on camera yelling "I'm so sorry" as it attacked a human swimmer.

News from the Natural World: A hungry Great White Shark was caught on camera yelling “I’m so sorry” as it attacked a human swimmer.

A Sea Turtle captured an extremely rare and never before seen spectacle yesterday at New Smyrna Beach in Florida. Sally the Sea Turtle was swimming along minding her business and enjoying a morning at the beach. She pulled out her phone to take a selfie and share it on Shellagram (The Turtle version of Instagram). But as she pulled out her phone she accidentally pressed record video and captured the incredible never before seen incident. Right in front of Sally a human surfer moved into shot. Out of nowhere a Great White Shark leap out of the water and took a bite out of the human surfer. But, as the Shark attacked it could clearly be seen and heard shouting “I’m so sorry” as it took a chomp.

Great White Shark
Great White Shark getting ready for the chomp

The attack itself came as no surprise as New Smyrna Beach is the human shark attack capital of the world. Like most years, Florida had the most reported unprovoked shark attacks on humans in 2019. Of the 64 unprovoked attacks worldwide on humans, 21 of them were in Florida. That’s one-third of all attacks and half of the 41 unprovoked attacks reported in the United States. However when compared to the number of attacks on sharks by humans the statistics are laughable. Over 400 million sharks are killed by humans every year… 400 MILLION. But anyway we digress, the truly remarkable thing about this attack was that the Great White Shark could clearly be heard shouting “I’m so sorry” as it lunged at the human. The Platypus set out to investigate.

Great White Shark sorry after attack

We managed to track down the Great White Shark who took the chomp out of the human surfer. She was a big 5m shark and her name was Gertrude. Gertrude said that she’d been having a really bad morning, her tummy was sore from having ingested some oil pollution and her gut was infested with micro-plastic. In addition the seal population was plummeting due to human interference and she was starving. Furthermore she was getting old and her eyesight wasn’t great. When questioned about the footage she stated “I thought I saw a large seal. The shape looked exactly the same from where I was. When I swam up and lunged I realised it was a human so I shouted out that I was sorry. In truth I was mainly sorry because you humans taste so bad but I also felt slightly guilty.”

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