News from the Natural World: Horses jubilant after successfully infiltrating the UK burger meat market.
A group of French Horses known as the Order of the Neighing Rose have harboured a long held ambition. They were an entrepreneurial group and wanted to infiltrate the UK burger meat market. In their native France, Horses had successfully garnered a huge wedge of this lucrative market. Horses had long been making, packaging, marketing and selling burgers to the French people. The secret, they made the meat burgers out of soy beans. The French humans loved them and it made for great business. They branded it as the Horse Meat Burger and the public lapped it up. Of course there was no real horse meat in it but it helped with the branding.
When the Horses drew up plans for expanding into the UK they were very excited. The research showed that the UK’s human population simply loved burgers. They couldn’t get enough of them and they were the holy grail of any human barbeque. The Horses approached one of the UK’s biggest suppliers of burgers, Tesco. Tesco was immediately on-board. They were so excited about the product, their human customers loved burgers. Huge cash signs lit up in the human executive’s eyes and they hastily agreed on a distribution for the Horse Meat Burgers. They signed the deal there and then and entered into a legally binding contract. But the Horses hadn’t read the blueprint. There was one catch.
Horse Meat Burgers literal Trojan Horses
The human executives from Tesco said that in 2013 there had been a bit of a horse meat scandal. It had affected Tesco greatly and involved them advertising products containing beef that were found to contain undeclared or improperly declared horse meat. In some cases as much as 100% of the meat content some burgers. Tesco said they couldn’t have another scandal on their hands so they would have to change the marketing. They couldn’t call them Horse Meat Burgers but only contain soybeans. It just wouldn’t do. They told them that they would actually have to do the right thing and get in the burgers themselves. The Horses suddenly realized that Tesco was actually asking them to be in the burgers. It was the ultimate Trojan Horseplay.