News from the Natural World: Boris Johnson has rolled out the red carpet for Earths new Insect Overlords.
Boris Johnson, the human prime minister of the UK, was delivering a speech yesterday in the Houses of Parliamentary Treachery. The speech was set to mark a key turning point for the stressed and brow-beaten leader of the UK. He was set to lay out his plans for a new post Brexit space force to rival Donald Trumps. He was hoping it would distract the public from the COVID-19 crisis. As part of the speech, he was scheduled to speak with three astronauts aboard the International Space Station who would make up the core of his new Brexit Space Force. However, during the live broadcast, it appeared that the astronauts had been invaded by large killer ant aliens. Boris Johnson had this to say;
“Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we’ve just lost the picture, but what we’ve seen speaks for itself. The International Space Station has apparently been taken over, ‘conquered’ if you will, by a master race of giant space ants. It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them as a trusted politician, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.”
“I for one, welcome our new Insect Overlords”
Boris went on to state that he would roll out the red carpet and welcome these new alien Insect Overlords. In addition, he would give them unlimited access to UK markets and be keen to strike a trade deal. It seemed that he was so desperate to strike a trade deal with anyone that even Insect Overlords were on the target list. However, as Boris was ranting and raving about bowing to the many-limbed beings the camera flashed back to the human astronauts. It turned out that one of the astronauts named Professor Frink had taken his ant farm onboard. He’d accidentally dropped it and the ants had escaped, with one looming large on the lense and seemingly appearing as a giant alien overlord.
When Boris realised his mistake he became flustered. He quickly starting complaining that it had been a joke all along and he knew it was just a normal ant. Obviously he wouldn’t just immediately submit to a parasitic Insect Overlord. But as Boris’s eyes drifted towards Dominic Cummings he knew that last point wasn’t really true. He had already submitted to an evil insect overlord, Cummings was already pulling the strings!
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