News from the Natural World: Boris Johnson increases grouse shooting limit to 35 after forgetting average size of Eton Rugby Squad.
News from the Natural World: Boris Johnson increases grouse shooting limit to 35 after forgetting the average size of Eton Rugby Squad. Everyones favourite pious and just human, Boris Johnson, has announced that he has made a huge mistake. In a rare show of empathy for the child ignoring egomaniac, he expressed his deepest regrets at the error. His eyes welled up and his palms turned upwards. Boris said that it had been incredibly difficult during the Pandemic, that he personally felt responsible and that sometimes his decisions had been the wrong ones. The human nation reeled in shock, Boris was being genuine, he was showing empathy and he was even being honest. But Boris said there was one mistake that stood out above all the others. It was one mistake that he knew he would regret more than all the others combined. But what was this mistake? Boris’s eyes welled up and tears began to stream down his cheeks. He pulled out his handkerchief and let out a wail of misery. He turned to the cameras and admitted that his big mistake was setting the limit for humans attending a grouse shoot as 30 people. Finally, Boris had admitted that this was his biggest error. The Platypus let out a huge sigh of relief and humans all over the country were overjoyed. Finally, Boris had admitted that it was insane that you could gather 30 mates together and go and shoot some grouse. But Boris looked furious “No no, you’ve got it all wrong! It’s a ruddy fantastic activity. The problem and the mistake was the cap I set. I set it at 30. But I made a huge mistake, I’d forgotten a really important detail.