News from the Natural World: Beetroot powered cars & carbon tax for pencils – finally, the Left has come up with some more sound conservation ideas for the middle ground.
The animal kingdom has long known the key to saving the planet from human greed is to instigate an aggressive two-pronged attack. Firstly, animals and humans must force human governments to legislate against big businesses destroying nature for profit. Activities which are harmful need to be made incredibly expensive. So expensive that they are no longer economic. The innovation of the private sector will find new ways to turn a profit without destroying the natural world. See the previous ban on CCPs and the reversal of the hole in the Ozone layer. Secondly, humans MUST persuade the middle ground of humanity, 80% in the centre, that the changes they have to make will not harm their standard of living.
This burden has fallen to 10% on the left of the political spectrum. It has fallen to them to persuade the middle ground that they need to make changes in their lives in order to lead humans toward a sustainable future.
The Platypus decided to infiltrate this group in order to spread some sensible suggestions from the animal kingdom. The ideas we heard being shared around were preposterous. Many were arguing for the eradication of money, the dismantling of the entire capitalist economy and complete obliteration of animal products. The Platypus decided to step in and suggest some sensible ideas. Never eat any animal product ever again could simply be changed to eat less meat. Never fly ever again and abandon all your holidays could be changed to go on more local holidays or staycations. Rewild and return to hunter-gatherer ways could be adapted to move forward to a better sustainable future. However, they shot our suggestions down.