News from the Natural World: What’s the point of the internet? Asks the animal kingdom.
The animal kingdom has started to question the great invention of the human race. The internet. The great tech entrepreneurs of the animal kingdom have long been sceptical of the great virtual network of the human world. Fleas Job, Lark Zuckerberg, Jeff BeZebra and also Bill Gator all hated the human internet. Even the human creator of the internet, Tim Berners-Lee lamented his creation. He hated what it had become. The internet was supposed to democratise information. In addition, it was meant to give access to every piece of knowledge humans might need. But humans had turned the internet to match their innermost desires. They used the internet to watch porn.
In 2019 there were over 42 Billion visits to Pornhub alone. This means there was also an average of 115 million visits per day. One-Hundred-Fifteen Million – that’s the equivalent of the human populations of Canada, Australia, Poland and the Netherlands all visiting in one day! The U.S. was the biggest human consumer of porn in the world, according to Pornhub, with Americans spending an average of 10 min and 37 seconds on the site per visit, up four seconds from last year. In addition, porn is by far the most widely searched term alongside xxx, sex and free sex now. Furthermore, across all porn sites, the most widely searched categories are Pirate Porn, Back Door Cabbage Patch Kid, Left-Handed Teachers and MILF seduces Womble.
What’s the point of the internet? Ask animals
Made up facts clearly and statistically show the internet is solely used by humans to watch other humans have fake sex with each other. Animals have started to question, what’s the point of all this? The internet was meant to help all species of the planet but all humans have done with it was watch porn. The Platypus knew it had to do something. The animals had to take over the internet. We finally managed to hack the human internet mainframe and knew we were one search term away from resetting the internet. All we had to do was type in something meaningful, something interesting, something that would benefit all animals. The Platypus leaned forward and typed into the search bar…