Politics

The Impending US Civil War is the ‘Good News We’d All Been Hoping For’ Say the Animals

News from the Natural World: The impending US Civil War is the 'good news we'd all been hoping for' say the Animals.

News from the Natural World: The impending US Civil War is the ‘good news we’d all been hoping for’ say the Animals.

In the human world, the US Election has grabbed global headlines. Apparently, this kind of thing is a huge deal for humans. But again it just seemed to be two sides gradually getting further apart. They were shouting louder at each other and failing to find common ground. Animals have also long been confused by the obvious tribal splits in human politics. Two choices clearly always create two teams. In addition, those teams never meet in the middle they just become more extreme in opposition to each other. The Animals don’t know why humans lead in this way, it’s just so much simpler in the animal world.

The Impending US Civil War
The Impending US Civil War welcomed by the animals

In the animal kingdom, there is always a coalition government formed of at least two parties. This means that parties are forced to compromise and meet in the middle. Furthermore, it is this meeting in the middle that clearly provides the greatest benefit for the greatest number. But humans fail to do this. The human left-wing has risen and failed to acknowledge its own economic privilege. Also, it is manipulated by reactionary elites (Do you really think Obama, Clinton are not part of the elite?). Whilst the right feels left behind by economic and social policies which don’t benefit them and have been weaponised by ruling elites. There is something in common in both these teams. They are both manipulated by powerful elites. The animal kingdom has an easy way out of this solution.

The Impending US Civil War Welcomed by Animals

No one in the animal kingdom is allowed to earn more than 10 million USD per annum. If they do it is immediately taxed. So no animal can ever earn a penny over. No one needs more than 10 million USD a year. There is certainly absolutely NO NEED for billionaires. Critics argued that super-rich people create jobs and successful companies but really these companies just kill smaller competitors and gradually monopolise and cannibalise them. In the animal world, it’s better to have 1,000 locally owned independent companies rather than one tax-dodging mega-company. This also stops lobbying and control of democracies by powerful ruling elites. Simple. But American humans do things differently.

As the results from the US Election trickle in Donald said it was a fraud of the American public, an ’embarrassment’. He has said he had won and would take his fight to the supreme court. Biden said to hold on and be patient. He said “We feel good about where we are. I’m here to tell you tonight that we believe we’re on track to win the election.” But the Animal Kingdom has responded to the US Election with surprising positivity. The great political analysts of the animal world gathered to give their verdicts on the terrifying deadlock. Winston Anthill said that it was ‘fantastic news, it surely means that finally the US will be plunged into a deadly and terrifying civil war. Maybe they will all finally wipe each other out.’ Other commentators including George BushViper and Tony Hare also agreed, it was great stuff!

The impending US Civil War is the ‘good news we’d all been hoping for’ say the Animals.

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The Impending US Civil War
The impending US Civil War a joy to behold for the animals

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