News from the Natural World: Save Endangered Animals – As long as they’re in someone else’s country says UK Government.
The UK Government has launched a new campaign to save endangered animals all around the world. Boris Johnson announced the new scheme to a fanfare of celebration in Westminster. The ambitious new scheme aims to save countless species of animals from destruction. The scheme was careful not to pick any animals in Western countries and certainly no European ones. It had to be countries that were really REALLY far away. The further away they were the better. This meant that there could be no accountability for the success of the program. So the UK Government picked the Tapanuli Orangutan of Indonesia, the Vaquita of Mexico and the Ethiopian Wolf of (you guessed it) Ethiopia.
The Platypus was rather confused by these choices. There are countless critically endangered species of animals in the UK. The most endangered animals in the UK include Capercaillies, Water Voles, Scottish Wildcats, and Hazel Dormice. 1 out of 10 of the UK’s wildlife species is at risk of becoming extinct. Moreover, since the 1970s, the population of endangered species in the UK further decreased by as much as 65%. As of 2016, the number of critically endangered species in the UK reached 165. With the significant drop in the abundance of its wildlife, the UK is now considered “one of the most nature depleted countries in the world”. Why wasn’t the UK Government trying to save these animals instead of animals in other countries?
Save Endangered Animals as long as they’re far away
We decided to confront Boris Johnson and the UK Government. Boris Johnson said “We can do what we like in our own country and vomit hypocritical bile onto other countries. Haven’t you heard of the British Empire? Haven’t you read the lyrics to “Rule Britannia”?? If we tried to save the endangered animals in our own country then we’d be exposed for never following through on our empty words. People don’t care about the Scottish Wildcat or Capercaillie. They want to go and see an Orangutan on their gap year. And who am I to get in the way of little Arabella’s gap year!?”
So without an inch of shame Boris launched the new campaign to Save Endangered Animals, as long as they’re in someone else’s country.
TAKE ACTION – NOW
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