News from the Natural World: McDonald’s Vegan Burger has been found to have a higher meat content than a Big Mac.
The new Vegetable Deluxe burger from the human waste production company, McDonald’s, has hit the market. For many years humans have loved to shovel McDonald’s products down their throats and consume the trash they sell. This has made McDonald’s the largest and most successful garbage disposal business in the human world. Their method of actually feeding garbage to their customers was revolutionary in the human world. However, it is nothing new in the animal kingdom as many great garbage disposers are much bigger than McDonald’s. Earthworms themselves dispose of 10 times as much waste. However, McDonald’s wanted to try something new and has launched its brand new Vegan burger, the Vegetable Deluxe.
The Vegetable Deluxe contains red pesto veggie goujons with sandwich sauce and shredded lettuce in a sesame topped bun. It is being heralded as an ambitious and revolutionary way to dispose of waste down human throats. Vegetables are cheaper than meat in the human world and the cunning McDonald’s execs thought this would be an EVEN CHEAPER way to get rid of waste. However the Platypus set out to investigate and made a shocking discovery.
McDonald’s Vegan Burger has more meat than Big Mac.
The Vegetable Deluxe actually contained meat. Not only did it contain meat it actually had a higher content of meat than the famous Big Mac. The meat content of a Big Mac was found to be 7% whilst the meat content of the vegan Vegetable Deluxe was 8%. We were shocked and appalled to learn of this deception and set out to question McDonald’s. McDonald’s sent out their famous bin man, Ronald McDonald who had this to say;
“Do you really think our customers care? Anyone whose ever eaten McDonald’s has been ingesting chemically washed, hyper-processed, tortured pig/cow/chicken scrotums, rectums, skin, nails and gristle. Why would vegans ever turn to US to have a conscious and care what we feed to our human garbage guzzlers?”
So the rumours are true the McDonald’s Vegan Burger has been found to have a higher meat content than a Big Mac. Furthermore, McDonald’s couldn’t give a golden arch!
TAKE ACTION – NOW
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