News from the Natural World: 5 Reasons Why I Ate Your Homework – An Essay by a Dog is taking the animal kingdom by storm.
Dogs have long dominated the animal literary world. Amongst all the denizens of the animal kingdom, they are by a long shot its greatest scribes. Even more so than the great Owl philosophers, it is the Dogs who are the greatest writers. From Virginia Woof, F. Scott Shitzugerald and Chihuahua Ngozi Adichie. Dogs have long sought to understand the human world by writing about it and studying the actions of man. But one recent incident really set tails wagging in the Dog world.
Boris Johnson was being questioned about his new strategy to save biodiversity within the UK. The loss of biodiversity has been propelled into the public consciousness by David Attenborough. His Netflix special and BBC show truly caught the human imagination. In addition, it has forced politicians to take the loss of biodiversity seriously. Boris Johnson was recently cornered by a group of journalists who demanded that he reveal his strategy for saving the UK’s biodiversity. Boris looked flustered as well as terrified. He tried to run away but he was cornered. Finally, he turned to the camera and said “I’m really really sorry, I was working on the government’s strategy for saving UK Biodiversity last night, I actually finished it. But then my dog ate it this morning. Honestly, the little scamp gobbled it up!”
Boris swears the dog ate it
This excuse caused a wave of anger in the Dog world. Boris Johnson had blamed a Dog and frankly the Dogs were fed up. They were always being blamed. So a famous Dog writer wrote a controversial essay which has taken the dog world by storm. That writer was none other than the brilliant Cavalier King Charles Dickens. He penned his latest short story to answer Boris’s claim and one of life’s great mysteries;
5 Reasons Why I Ate Your Homework – An Essay by a Dog
- Ball is Life – If there is no ball in the vicinity then one must immediately proceed to the nearest semi-edible item.
- I was Hungry – I am always hungry, even when I look full I am hungry. I am hungry therefore I am.
- It Smelt of the Master – Our nose is our greatest gift and also our greatest curse. If it smells of the master then we sometimes just eat it.
- Not Enough Walkies – Simple, the key to a happy dog is plenty of walks. If you don’t walk us we misbehave and may eat homework.
- Boris is Lying – Statistical evidence shows that 99.9% of the times that a human has said that a Dog ate its homework that human was LYING.
So there you have it, Boris Johnson claimed that his homework on the UK’s strategy for saving Biodiversity was eaten by a Dog. The Dogs responded with “5 Reasons Why I Ate Your Homework – An Essay by a Dog.”
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